I've only been back to the blogging world a short time and already had so much to say...so I thought sheepishly I should have done this blog first considering it's the most important one of all...and before you think my head is too big, I say quickly, it's the most important because it's not my words but the words of the almighty God, who never makes mistakes, never fails and always gives us the best advice in any situation! Amazing huh?!?
These are my 2 favorite bible passages and why I have grown to love them so:
"For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:22
Seems so simple yet when you sit and dwell on it, it really will and can change your life! I am so weak and forgetful of this truth, that even in the hardships, even when all around me seems hopeless and empty; he has plans to prosper me and not to harm me, and that should give me HOPE knowing he has MY future in his almighty and loving hands! INCREDIBLE! It moves me to tears just thinking of it! MY future, he knows me by name and has plans for MY life! I love it! I am humbled by it and I am so thankful for it! What's more amazing is that he has your life and plans for you too dear ones, he holds you in the palm of his loving hand and wants you to have hope in him! Believe in him today, grab ahold of his out stretched hand while the day to do so is here! I love you! I want you there standing beside me in his presence!
I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13
I grew up with this verse, I have memorized so many chapters and verses in the Bible because in my family that was required but the gravity of this verse didn't hit me until this move here to MO, during a particulary trying day, when I thought; "I can't do this, my body hurts, I am soaking wet, my husband is stuck on post, there is a tornado 2 miles from here, I can't do this" in that moment this verse jumped into my mind...and I remember thinking "yeh yeh yeh right ok sure I got it" but it wouldnt' go away so I said it out loud and for the first time in my life; I HEARD IT!
It doesn't say "some things", it doesn't say "most things" it says;" ALL THINGS" In that moment I called out "all things lord, you said all things!" I pleaded with him thru my tears and pain to show me that all things could be done by calling for his strength in me! I'm sure you can guess since this is a favorite verse that I felt his promises to me, I did it, I got it done and I can't even take any credit for it, it was ALL of him, it was him coming to me and giving me his strength and promise!
How many times have a missed the promises and blessings of the Lord simply because I don't ask him for them or I don't claim them in his name?
He is God who loves his people like a father loves his children, he wants us to come to him, he wants to bless us! If only we would daily remember to come and plead for his blessings and help in our lives!
Sunday, November 8, 2009
It is what it is!
I can only be me. Simple statement right? Meaning seems clear at first glance, seems like an; "ok duh Lacey statement" but is it?
What I mean is that I can only be who I am at this moment! I can look back and see the Lacey of 15 is different from the Lacey of 18, and the Lacey of 18 is FAR different from the Lacey of 21...maybe not in all ways, I mean I still am passionate about protecting the rights of the unborn (that started at age 6) I am still loud and silly (that started at birth I believe), I am still a passoiante defender of my family and friends (that started at about 4 I am told)....there are some things like those examples, that haven't changed a bit, they just mature with me and in most cases if I was passionate about something then, I am more now!
I am almost 30 now and I have changed alot in this past year; I was given the best friends and re-united with some old good friends, I have developed family relationships in a deeper more meaningful I NEED these people ways. I was on my own for 14 months while my husband risked his life for this country and I had to learn that God is the ONLY one in control of all things! I have found that my value and worth in this life isn't based on what the world thinks, it's based on what God thinks of me and that I need to look up more when I don't know what to do!
I am writing all this to say that I have heard thru the grapevine that my "just a mom" piece hurt some feelings. I would like to apologize but I'm not fake and I don't lie so I can't. I can't say that no, I wasn't judging because I was judging in some ways!
I am passionate about the collapse of a way of life, I am passionate about being a mom and defending other moms in the work we do! And as far as judging goes, WE ALL DO IT! Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but if you are mad at me for that piece and you are talking about it to others (which you are or how would I know?!?) then you are judging me. The difference is I am ok with that. Maybe by telling other people you will eventually reach someone who agrees with me but is too afraid to speak thinking she is alone!
I am me, I am a mother and a proud supporter of an "old fashioned" way of life... I say old fashioned with a smile because this country used to be a proud, noble country that others looked up too but in the past years we have become a demoralized, shameful country who others are passing rapidly! It scares me but it doesn't surprise me, when you take out a foundational support block (a mom) you make the whole structure more weak!
I am happy I have a husband who supports me, I am happy that we are a team each doing an important job in raising these children, and let there be no confusion there are days when I do run screaming from the house and he takes over so I can have a break!
I want to state for the record I understand that sometimes life REQUIRES moms to step out and work, sometimes life REQUIRES more money that one partner can make, even after making cuts of unnecessary items. I APPLAUD women who stand in this gap and do what's necessary to make their families run. Please hear me on this! I thought I made that clear in that piece but maybe I didn't so I will do it again!
But I am who I am, this is my blog were I lay my heart, my feelings, my insights on the line, read it or don't...but have the courage to speak to me instead of about me! I love my friends even though ones who I might not agree with, and I think if you don't know that about me, then you don't know me!
What I mean is that I can only be who I am at this moment! I can look back and see the Lacey of 15 is different from the Lacey of 18, and the Lacey of 18 is FAR different from the Lacey of 21...maybe not in all ways, I mean I still am passionate about protecting the rights of the unborn (that started at age 6) I am still loud and silly (that started at birth I believe), I am still a passoiante defender of my family and friends (that started at about 4 I am told)....there are some things like those examples, that haven't changed a bit, they just mature with me and in most cases if I was passionate about something then, I am more now!
I am almost 30 now and I have changed alot in this past year; I was given the best friends and re-united with some old good friends, I have developed family relationships in a deeper more meaningful I NEED these people ways. I was on my own for 14 months while my husband risked his life for this country and I had to learn that God is the ONLY one in control of all things! I have found that my value and worth in this life isn't based on what the world thinks, it's based on what God thinks of me and that I need to look up more when I don't know what to do!
I am writing all this to say that I have heard thru the grapevine that my "just a mom" piece hurt some feelings. I would like to apologize but I'm not fake and I don't lie so I can't. I can't say that no, I wasn't judging because I was judging in some ways!
I am passionate about the collapse of a way of life, I am passionate about being a mom and defending other moms in the work we do! And as far as judging goes, WE ALL DO IT! Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but if you are mad at me for that piece and you are talking about it to others (which you are or how would I know?!?) then you are judging me. The difference is I am ok with that. Maybe by telling other people you will eventually reach someone who agrees with me but is too afraid to speak thinking she is alone!
I am me, I am a mother and a proud supporter of an "old fashioned" way of life... I say old fashioned with a smile because this country used to be a proud, noble country that others looked up too but in the past years we have become a demoralized, shameful country who others are passing rapidly! It scares me but it doesn't surprise me, when you take out a foundational support block (a mom) you make the whole structure more weak!
I am happy I have a husband who supports me, I am happy that we are a team each doing an important job in raising these children, and let there be no confusion there are days when I do run screaming from the house and he takes over so I can have a break!
I want to state for the record I understand that sometimes life REQUIRES moms to step out and work, sometimes life REQUIRES more money that one partner can make, even after making cuts of unnecessary items. I APPLAUD women who stand in this gap and do what's necessary to make their families run. Please hear me on this! I thought I made that clear in that piece but maybe I didn't so I will do it again!
But I am who I am, this is my blog were I lay my heart, my feelings, my insights on the line, read it or don't...but have the courage to speak to me instead of about me! I love my friends even though ones who I might not agree with, and I think if you don't know that about me, then you don't know me!
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Fort Hood made me think...(oh and it's longgg and rambling with nostalgic memories...you were warned!)
As I sat 2 nights ago and watched the coverage of the Fort Hood tragedy unfold, I found myself crying and hugging a pillow, I found myself wanting to reach out and hug those crying wives, children and parents, I found myself feeling it so much deeper than just some random shooting that we hear about on the news all to often. No, this felt personal, this felt like family, this hit to close to home.
It gave me the opportunity to reflect on these past years and how my life has changed from being wife to army wife, from being new army wife to army wife with some experience and dare I say wisdom tucked under her belt.
Of course when I start to think of that, I can't help but think of how I got here...and those are some of my favorite memories so since this is my blog and therefore it's kinda like my journal...I felt like remembering some of those moments in writing...so bear with me, I am feeling nostalgic!
I remember when Rob enlisted, our first time apart for more than a weekend since meeting! I remember thinking how I THOUGHT it would be ( I hear you fellow army wives nodding and laughing!) I think we all do that, we all have some idea of how this is going to be, how it's going to feel...many of us think it's going to be like "army wives on lifetime" and we're going to be standing beside all these honorable soldiers and we're all going to be family and it's one happy mix of people supporting each other. Then we get our first duty stations, faces all glowing, hearts all open....and bam we see oh wow this is a hard job, alot of these soldiers hate this, oh wow these wives are mean, catty and crap I should have never trusted her because now my secrets are all over and people are judging me, oh no I blogged sweetly and innocently about something I was afraid of and I used the wrong words because I am new and stupid and some other wife took that blog and used it against me and tried to get my soldier in trouble! OH GOD hide me!!!
Ok ok so that happened to me...innocently I said "unit" when I meant "brigade" and oh my word that started more drama than I ever even knew existed! I had one friend then, who I just met at a meet up and God bless her she listened to me blubber and sob on the phone and she LOVED ME ANYWAY...amazing! (love you Jess!)
Then I hid in my house because when I walked outside after that incident I thought everyone knew, I thought everyone was talking about blanchards stupid wife....ha ha ha...oh me, it's funny NOW....
So I hid, and this annoying ass blond girl kept sending her kids over and kept asking me to do things and one day she actually had the gall to tell me I was doing something instead of asking me...so I went, I mean crap I didn't want her kicking my ass or anything....and I fell in love with her daughter...and I went thru a horrible time were I thought her son was going to die...and I started to want to be dragged out and I fell in love with her and her son....and now I even love her husband and I can't imagine what my life would be without them, I shudder to think were I would be without her! She made me see that I am pretty darn fun, she made me see that "who cares what they think", she showed me just how strong I could be and she proved to me that when I wasn't strong, she was gonna be there holding me up, she showed me I could trust people and that if I didn't I was going to miss a friendship that was about to change my life! She also showed me how good cheap cake is, how good an alcoholic drink can be after a bad day and that Harry Potter is one hot little student! ha ha, I love her, she's my "lover", she's my heather!
Then I started to think ok hmm maybe there are some wives around here worth knowing...but still stubborn as ever hid some more....but during the awful time I thought heather's precious son was dying I was helping to watch sweet Jaylin and our other little new Asian neighbor was helping too and one week after I got super sick I took Jaylin across the street to drop her off and this little Asian neighbors loud mean dog bit me....so thru the whole process of that I started to talk to her a little more...and heather (seriously she started all this, I cant take any credit) started dragging us both around...and this little Asian girl started to feel like my little sister, I fell in love with her sweet little boy who is so cute you just wanna pinch his cheeks! She showed me that being who you are even if you are a weirdo is way cool, she showed me that potty talk is hilarious and excusing yourself to poop is completely acceptable! She showed me every sale victoria's secret had and she had cute shoes that I could steal because apparently I have tiny Asian feet too! =) She showed me that someone else needed me just like I needed her and she was up all night on im when I was and we cried together alot when we didn't know were our men were and if they were safe! She showed me it's ok to drool a shot all over and not to be a wuss who drinks shots thru straws...she's my lil Asian sister; Christine and she was the 2nd wife right on my street that made me think....look there are some good wives out there after all!
Snow...not something that happens often at Fort Campbell and I should have known it was bringing something magical with it! I remember playing outside with the kids in it and Christine and Heather coming over with their kids to play in it and we all watched as a car pulled up to the empty house across from me, we tried not to stare but we couldn't help it...who was this new person going to be because the old person who lived there was wretched and mean...and out comes a tall, curly haired quiet girl with the cutest blond girl bouncing around the yard in the snow...we all whispered "should be we over? should we be friendly" a bit scared since we didn't know if she was one of THOSE wives or not...but gradually heather and christine started talking to and hanging out with her...me no not me...I was stubborn as always...thought she was quiet...really looking back I thought she didn't like me, so I wanted to not like her first...but then we hung out some in our little "collins st group" and I started to see she was kinda quiet but when she did come outta her shell I thought she was one of the best people I had ever been around...I loved talking to her, it was amazing but SHE GOT ME, her humor was like mine, and even though we are so different, we are also so much alike it's kinda scary....She taught me that she would love me and be sweet to me and I couldn't keep her away, She taught me that it's ok to be mad at your husband that doesn't mean you don't love him, She taught me that you can be fabulous at any size and any stage of life you may be in...she taught me that it's ok to smoke in my front yard and make fun of a new president at 2 am, she taught me that she would never let me go to bed on my birthday without singing to me and that lemon bars are a perfect birthday cake and that party lite t-light candles make good birthday cake candles! She showed me that she would love me even if I beat my husband and that I cant lose her friendship even if I am a mess! She is my dog-in-law since our retarded dogs are sisters, I cant imagine my life without her, I fell in love with her, her daughter, who told me "cheese would make it better" and who I miss her friendly hellos from across my street, her totally weird, but scary I get him, husband and her mom who totally rocks! She means the world to me and I couldn't make it thru a day without texting her; she's my katie face!
With the meeting of those 3 women my life changed... I don't just say that...it changed! They have shown me so much about me, they have seen me at my best, worst and everything in between and never once have I thought they wouldn't or couldn't handle me. They gave me something better than an "army wives" life, they gave me a real life, a street that I adored living on...they showed me that family has nothing to do with blood or genetics and everything to do with love, commitment and caring about the friends that we bring into our lives. They showed me their hearts, they shared their families with me, we shared our lives daily and even through a long 14 months of my husband being gone, I never felt alone, I missed him and I longed for his return to me but the life I lived those 14 months was precious, sweet and something I will cherish forever in my heart. Where ever I go in this life I know that those memories, that moment in time, was an amazing gift from a God that knew just what I needed and literally dropped it on my front step!
Oh and cant forget the girlie he dropped right into my house =) The only other girl I have lived with for a week and never once had a problem, the sweetest most adorably caring woman I know, who fit right into my family like she's been there forever and my daughter loves so much she wants to be her! Who taught me that just because you're young doesn't mean you cant know what you want and who's husband IS my husbands brother no matter what sets of parents they have...the couple who I adore and miss so much it makes my heart hurt! My Amber and our Coevilles! and who's beautiful daughter I can't wait to meet!
I also would be a huge ass in not mentioning a couple other people;
I briefly mentioned Jess who from the first time I met her there was a feeling of trust there, she is the most real person I ever met and I love her to pieces. She showed me that I could trust her, she showed me that even when I messed up bad she just smiled and said "hey it happens, your ok" My kids adore her girls and I felt so at home in her home even when I didn't know anyone! I think it's a Michigan thing =) and I have to say Michigan is a pretty great place even though I like to rag on it because it gave me my husband and my Jess!
I met another loud little lady, who showed me that I was fabulous, I would come to her house when called and that sushi is the best food on the planet, she openly mocked my eating of commissary sushi and showed me the best restaurant on earth Yamatos, she loved me even though my at the time e3 husband was far in rank under hers she was willing to go to bat and tell her husband "I love this girl, she's so not drama" I told her she couldn't lose me no matter how many other idiots came and went and her mom is a pig thrower....and I had the best spaghetti dinner with her and her pig throwing mama!
I love this story...went to an frg meeting, was totally prepared to be well bitchy because remember this was the same frg that had called me and made me bawl over some stupid mistake I made in a blog...but I went to learn when my husband was coming home, after had to talk to someone, I don't even remember now I think I was trying to be nice to my POC, anyway another wife was talking to her and I waited, my poc says oh were are you going again? I say "oh Fort Leonard Wood, husband is an mp" and this other wife says "no way me too" so we start chatting and in some random way I find out her hubs is an e6 so I feel the need since I know he's with my husband to tell her "look no pressure I get it if this wont work...it's ok really" but no this adorable friendly, just shining from within lady tells me...no give me your name so I can find you on myspace, we should chat we're going to the same place" so I tell her again "ok here's my name but really no pressure if this is gonna be weird for our guys" wait a couple days and HELLO friend request from my Jamie! She tells me sweet as pie "oh my hubs is totally fine with us being friends" so we chat and she comes over (one thing she taught me is that hot chocolate comes right out of berber carpet! ha ha ha had too say it!) I talk to her more online and see her more here at Fort lost in the woods and she teaches me so much about how sweet and caring she is, she is teaching me so much about how my God loves me and wants me for his own, I love watching her life and being around her... I may not get to as often as I want too but I love her company! I love that once again God brought someone into my life when I wasn't looking, and he knew I would NEED her! love ya girl!
I met so many other amazing girls even if just briefly with some;
*Jen (who is an army wife in my heart forever),
*Caity Woolley (who makes me believe that marriage can last forever)
*Sunshine (who would have my back in a fight and had the nicest doggies, no matter what anyone else says!)
*Judy (who has been there for me so much lately and I appreciate her to pieces, she is so caring... I love that it's great to feel cared about!)
*Hannah (who made my valentines day and is my favorite pookie!)
*My Katrina (who briefly joined our collins st for a short while and who I think has an amazing heart and is so sweet even when things were so hard for her! I am so thankful for her new life and new baby...no one deserved it more!)
So after all the rambling and remembering I seriously doubt that anyone is still reading but I did have a point...my point was that THESE women are my family, they are my friends, and the army brought us together and made us army families! So when I hear of things like Fort Hood my heart stops, my tears build up because I hurt for them, I know the fear, pride, heartaches, and triumphs of an army family! I know because I am one! I know how my heart would feel if that was my post, my friends, my friends husbands, brothers, children. I feel the pain because in a weird way we all have to join together because there are no other people alive that understand what we are going thru better than we do and even if I don't know that wife, that child, that family... I feel that pain, I feel that heartache because I know that it could have been mine, it could have been us but it wasn't this time.
My heart breaks for their pain and sorrow but my heart says a thank you that it wasn't mine this time, it wasn't my loved ones this time. Because we may be all individual families, we may all have different last names and ideas about what this is going to be like or how its going to feel but at the end of the day we all are in this together, so stand strong Fort Hood although you may not see us, we are there beside you and in your time of grief lay your heads down and take your time to mourn and we will hold you up, we will send our prayers and know that you are in our hearts!
It gave me the opportunity to reflect on these past years and how my life has changed from being wife to army wife, from being new army wife to army wife with some experience and dare I say wisdom tucked under her belt.
Of course when I start to think of that, I can't help but think of how I got here...and those are some of my favorite memories so since this is my blog and therefore it's kinda like my journal...I felt like remembering some of those moments in writing...so bear with me, I am feeling nostalgic!
I remember when Rob enlisted, our first time apart for more than a weekend since meeting! I remember thinking how I THOUGHT it would be ( I hear you fellow army wives nodding and laughing!) I think we all do that, we all have some idea of how this is going to be, how it's going to feel...many of us think it's going to be like "army wives on lifetime" and we're going to be standing beside all these honorable soldiers and we're all going to be family and it's one happy mix of people supporting each other. Then we get our first duty stations, faces all glowing, hearts all open....and bam we see oh wow this is a hard job, alot of these soldiers hate this, oh wow these wives are mean, catty and crap I should have never trusted her because now my secrets are all over and people are judging me, oh no I blogged sweetly and innocently about something I was afraid of and I used the wrong words because I am new and stupid and some other wife took that blog and used it against me and tried to get my soldier in trouble! OH GOD hide me!!!
Ok ok so that happened to me...innocently I said "unit" when I meant "brigade" and oh my word that started more drama than I ever even knew existed! I had one friend then, who I just met at a meet up and God bless her she listened to me blubber and sob on the phone and she LOVED ME ANYWAY...amazing! (love you Jess!)
Then I hid in my house because when I walked outside after that incident I thought everyone knew, I thought everyone was talking about blanchards stupid wife....ha ha ha...oh me, it's funny NOW....
So I hid, and this annoying ass blond girl kept sending her kids over and kept asking me to do things and one day she actually had the gall to tell me I was doing something instead of asking me...so I went, I mean crap I didn't want her kicking my ass or anything....and I fell in love with her daughter...and I went thru a horrible time were I thought her son was going to die...and I started to want to be dragged out and I fell in love with her and her son....and now I even love her husband and I can't imagine what my life would be without them, I shudder to think were I would be without her! She made me see that I am pretty darn fun, she made me see that "who cares what they think", she showed me just how strong I could be and she proved to me that when I wasn't strong, she was gonna be there holding me up, she showed me I could trust people and that if I didn't I was going to miss a friendship that was about to change my life! She also showed me how good cheap cake is, how good an alcoholic drink can be after a bad day and that Harry Potter is one hot little student! ha ha, I love her, she's my "lover", she's my heather!
Then I started to think ok hmm maybe there are some wives around here worth knowing...but still stubborn as ever hid some more....but during the awful time I thought heather's precious son was dying I was helping to watch sweet Jaylin and our other little new Asian neighbor was helping too and one week after I got super sick I took Jaylin across the street to drop her off and this little Asian neighbors loud mean dog bit me....so thru the whole process of that I started to talk to her a little more...and heather (seriously she started all this, I cant take any credit) started dragging us both around...and this little Asian girl started to feel like my little sister, I fell in love with her sweet little boy who is so cute you just wanna pinch his cheeks! She showed me that being who you are even if you are a weirdo is way cool, she showed me that potty talk is hilarious and excusing yourself to poop is completely acceptable! She showed me every sale victoria's secret had and she had cute shoes that I could steal because apparently I have tiny Asian feet too! =) She showed me that someone else needed me just like I needed her and she was up all night on im when I was and we cried together alot when we didn't know were our men were and if they were safe! She showed me it's ok to drool a shot all over and not to be a wuss who drinks shots thru straws...she's my lil Asian sister; Christine and she was the 2nd wife right on my street that made me think....look there are some good wives out there after all!
Snow...not something that happens often at Fort Campbell and I should have known it was bringing something magical with it! I remember playing outside with the kids in it and Christine and Heather coming over with their kids to play in it and we all watched as a car pulled up to the empty house across from me, we tried not to stare but we couldn't help it...who was this new person going to be because the old person who lived there was wretched and mean...and out comes a tall, curly haired quiet girl with the cutest blond girl bouncing around the yard in the snow...we all whispered "should be we over? should we be friendly" a bit scared since we didn't know if she was one of THOSE wives or not...but gradually heather and christine started talking to and hanging out with her...me no not me...I was stubborn as always...thought she was quiet...really looking back I thought she didn't like me, so I wanted to not like her first...but then we hung out some in our little "collins st group" and I started to see she was kinda quiet but when she did come outta her shell I thought she was one of the best people I had ever been around...I loved talking to her, it was amazing but SHE GOT ME, her humor was like mine, and even though we are so different, we are also so much alike it's kinda scary....She taught me that she would love me and be sweet to me and I couldn't keep her away, She taught me that it's ok to be mad at your husband that doesn't mean you don't love him, She taught me that you can be fabulous at any size and any stage of life you may be in...she taught me that it's ok to smoke in my front yard and make fun of a new president at 2 am, she taught me that she would never let me go to bed on my birthday without singing to me and that lemon bars are a perfect birthday cake and that party lite t-light candles make good birthday cake candles! She showed me that she would love me even if I beat my husband and that I cant lose her friendship even if I am a mess! She is my dog-in-law since our retarded dogs are sisters, I cant imagine my life without her, I fell in love with her, her daughter, who told me "cheese would make it better" and who I miss her friendly hellos from across my street, her totally weird, but scary I get him, husband and her mom who totally rocks! She means the world to me and I couldn't make it thru a day without texting her; she's my katie face!
With the meeting of those 3 women my life changed... I don't just say that...it changed! They have shown me so much about me, they have seen me at my best, worst and everything in between and never once have I thought they wouldn't or couldn't handle me. They gave me something better than an "army wives" life, they gave me a real life, a street that I adored living on...they showed me that family has nothing to do with blood or genetics and everything to do with love, commitment and caring about the friends that we bring into our lives. They showed me their hearts, they shared their families with me, we shared our lives daily and even through a long 14 months of my husband being gone, I never felt alone, I missed him and I longed for his return to me but the life I lived those 14 months was precious, sweet and something I will cherish forever in my heart. Where ever I go in this life I know that those memories, that moment in time, was an amazing gift from a God that knew just what I needed and literally dropped it on my front step!
Oh and cant forget the girlie he dropped right into my house =) The only other girl I have lived with for a week and never once had a problem, the sweetest most adorably caring woman I know, who fit right into my family like she's been there forever and my daughter loves so much she wants to be her! Who taught me that just because you're young doesn't mean you cant know what you want and who's husband IS my husbands brother no matter what sets of parents they have...the couple who I adore and miss so much it makes my heart hurt! My Amber and our Coevilles! and who's beautiful daughter I can't wait to meet!
I also would be a huge ass in not mentioning a couple other people;
I briefly mentioned Jess who from the first time I met her there was a feeling of trust there, she is the most real person I ever met and I love her to pieces. She showed me that I could trust her, she showed me that even when I messed up bad she just smiled and said "hey it happens, your ok" My kids adore her girls and I felt so at home in her home even when I didn't know anyone! I think it's a Michigan thing =) and I have to say Michigan is a pretty great place even though I like to rag on it because it gave me my husband and my Jess!
I met another loud little lady, who showed me that I was fabulous, I would come to her house when called and that sushi is the best food on the planet, she openly mocked my eating of commissary sushi and showed me the best restaurant on earth Yamatos, she loved me even though my at the time e3 husband was far in rank under hers she was willing to go to bat and tell her husband "I love this girl, she's so not drama" I told her she couldn't lose me no matter how many other idiots came and went and her mom is a pig thrower....and I had the best spaghetti dinner with her and her pig throwing mama!
I love this story...went to an frg meeting, was totally prepared to be well bitchy because remember this was the same frg that had called me and made me bawl over some stupid mistake I made in a blog...but I went to learn when my husband was coming home, after had to talk to someone, I don't even remember now I think I was trying to be nice to my POC, anyway another wife was talking to her and I waited, my poc says oh were are you going again? I say "oh Fort Leonard Wood, husband is an mp" and this other wife says "no way me too" so we start chatting and in some random way I find out her hubs is an e6 so I feel the need since I know he's with my husband to tell her "look no pressure I get it if this wont work...it's ok really" but no this adorable friendly, just shining from within lady tells me...no give me your name so I can find you on myspace, we should chat we're going to the same place" so I tell her again "ok here's my name but really no pressure if this is gonna be weird for our guys" wait a couple days and HELLO friend request from my Jamie! She tells me sweet as pie "oh my hubs is totally fine with us being friends" so we chat and she comes over (one thing she taught me is that hot chocolate comes right out of berber carpet! ha ha ha had too say it!) I talk to her more online and see her more here at Fort lost in the woods and she teaches me so much about how sweet and caring she is, she is teaching me so much about how my God loves me and wants me for his own, I love watching her life and being around her... I may not get to as often as I want too but I love her company! I love that once again God brought someone into my life when I wasn't looking, and he knew I would NEED her! love ya girl!
I met so many other amazing girls even if just briefly with some;
*Jen (who is an army wife in my heart forever),
*Caity Woolley (who makes me believe that marriage can last forever)
*Sunshine (who would have my back in a fight and had the nicest doggies, no matter what anyone else says!)
*Judy (who has been there for me so much lately and I appreciate her to pieces, she is so caring... I love that it's great to feel cared about!)
*Hannah (who made my valentines day and is my favorite pookie!)
*My Katrina (who briefly joined our collins st for a short while and who I think has an amazing heart and is so sweet even when things were so hard for her! I am so thankful for her new life and new baby...no one deserved it more!)
So after all the rambling and remembering I seriously doubt that anyone is still reading but I did have a point...my point was that THESE women are my family, they are my friends, and the army brought us together and made us army families! So when I hear of things like Fort Hood my heart stops, my tears build up because I hurt for them, I know the fear, pride, heartaches, and triumphs of an army family! I know because I am one! I know how my heart would feel if that was my post, my friends, my friends husbands, brothers, children. I feel the pain because in a weird way we all have to join together because there are no other people alive that understand what we are going thru better than we do and even if I don't know that wife, that child, that family... I feel that pain, I feel that heartache because I know that it could have been mine, it could have been us but it wasn't this time.
My heart breaks for their pain and sorrow but my heart says a thank you that it wasn't mine this time, it wasn't my loved ones this time. Because we may be all individual families, we may all have different last names and ideas about what this is going to be like or how its going to feel but at the end of the day we all are in this together, so stand strong Fort Hood although you may not see us, we are there beside you and in your time of grief lay your heads down and take your time to mourn and we will hold you up, we will send our prayers and know that you are in our hearts!
Just a mom?!?!
I do address this again further in this blog but I want to again state; this is NOT to single moms, this is NOT to moms that HAVE to work to help support their families, this is NOT to moms who's partners in parenting don't or can't find work...so PLEASE understand my HEART on this issue and know without a doubt that my respect for the parenting AND work you do is hundred fold...and I feel the need to name names: Jen and Ginger you two are amazing moms who work outside the home and also give 110% at home too, I adore you both and this is in NO way talking to you....love you both!
So this blog is a longtime coming...I actually have a very nasty, angry version of it buried some were in my computer, which is now buried in my closet, thanx to our wi-fi only working on the laptop but I think that's probably best anyway since now I have had to time to actually think and come up with some thoughts that aren't "I wanna kick your ass you ignorant mother fluffer" =) oh well oops I said it anyway...ha ha
I am almost out of my 20's now and while I don't think I am any were near old, I am experienced. I have lived some life, seen and done some things and made some choices that have landed me right were I am and although I see some who may think I didn't choose to be here (or why would I chose to be here) I am happy and I am right were I want to be! Let me explain what prompted such a discovery.
I heard not to long ago and friend say something that I myself have been guilty of saying too so I point no fingers...when asked, "so do you work, what do you do?" she answered, "oh well no I don't work I am just a stay at home mom".
Just a stay at home mom?!? Those words rung in my ears and the ringing became so deafening I had to stop and say what?!? The way I see it is this; I have never heard a doctor, lawyer, banker, accountant, fast food worker, vet, or any other person ever say when asked what they do, "I am JUST a fill in the blank with job title" but I hear this over and over from myself and many other moms like me. Why?!?
Why do we feel the need to immediately qualify that we somehow know we are "just" something that isn't worth what you may do and get paid for...like my choice of jobs isn't a paid job so therefore it isn't a job?
Look around at the world these days; shootings, rapes, murders, kids have kids, drop outs, no respect among young people for older people, no morals, no values.....If you watch the news, get online or hell go sit in a mall and just watch for an hour, you will see the evil all around you, the ugliness of what our world is becoming too isn't hidden anymore, it's out there, it's in your face and it doesn't care if you're offended....
So I hear it now...ok Lacey are you rabbit trailing here or is there a point in there? This time surprise, surprise there is a point....
Were do we learn our morals, values, respect for authority? Were do we receive instructions for life when we are young? What and who do we base the majority of our worldviews?
Yep, you guessed it from our mom's (or obviously our parents but for the sake of this rambling...I am just saying moms...bite me, it's my blog lol)
MOMS, JUST US STAY AT HOME MOM'S! WE are shaping futures, we are forming minds, we are molding worldviews, and shaping hearts, we are making rules and giving punishments for broken rules...guess what America? Us "just moms" are forming the future leaders, we are the unsung quiet heroes that form the great leaders and workers for tomorrow! My country, who I love and stand behind a man who defends, is throwing away it's greatest asset!
We are telling our young moms and even pressuring some of our older mom's by telling them; work outside the home, get your 6 weeks maternity leave in and get back out there, get those babies in daycare, don't give up "you time", don't waste your life, don't forget to "do you"...and these messages are pounded in day after day and in fact have turned a whole generation into exactly that. Mom's who work and kids who grow up and are raised by daycare. I would say without wavering that having your kids for 2 hours before bed every night IS NOT parenting.
Ok and I know all of you and I hear some of your brains exploding and ready to curse me out right now so hear me out here; I am NOT talking to single moms, I am NOT talking to mom's that HAVE to work and that are shouldering financial responsibility to help keep their families heads above water in these hard economic times!
I am talking to moms who cant stay home because; "it's boring", or "I need a life too", or "I can't be stuck at home raising these kids all the time".
I am so sick of hearing those lines, they make me wanna puke!
It's boring?!? Then hunny you aren't doing it right because this is the most challenging, exciting, once in a lifetime opportunity there is! This is a limited time offer, when they are grown, IT'S GONE FOREVER!
"I need a life too" Then go out once a week with the girls, go get your hair done, nails done, get a beer with your husband once in awhile, blog, hire a babysitter once a week, get a hobby, study online...Find a life but I would stick my neck out a bit further and say; um kids are your life once you have them! ........which kinda runs into the last puke inducing line.....
"I can't be stuck at home raising these kids all the time" THEN give them up for adoption, or better yet wear a condom and don't have them! I can't be the only one that sees the selfishness of that statement! Why have kids if you don't plan on raising them? And how can it be ok for you to have "a life" "a career" while your kids grow up being shuffled from place to place being raised by other people?!?! I never will get it. How a mom can straight faced say that like her needs and comfort are worth more than then needs and comfort of her children (?!?!)
Recently a friend who I love dearly said to me, "Lacey I still need my time, this is my life and I raised my kids" (her oldest is 8) hmmm what?!? Yes sweetie this is YOUR life and YOU HAVE KIDS, welcome to your life! um duh?!?
I LOVE to learn, I love to work in fast paced environments, I want to be a nurse someday and I look forward to that possibility but the reality is that I had kids, who are wanted and loved but I admit were not planned: but that doesn't matter, because they are here so their needs and what it best for them, COMES FIRST!
I feel like renting bill boards and screaming: WAKE UP AMERICA, you are MISSING your children's childhoods and they are ONCE IN A LIFETIME!
I mean what if I had gone to law school or nursing school like I planned? What if I did have a successful career and lots of money right now? Would it mean anything at all in 90 years on my death bed? No, I don't think it would but let's say I do my job as a mom, raise my babies up right and get them to an age were they can discern based on their upbringing what is right and wrong and have a good solid base of years of a mom who gave it all for them and to them, on my death bed with them around me THAT would matter, THAT would be a LEGACY to leave behind. Lives that would go on even when I am gone and do great things and raise another generation after theirs to do the same!
Does this mean moms should never work?!? No way, I look forward to future chapters when my children are at an age were I can finish school and start working (this is different for everyone but I think 16 is a sufficient age and if they have been raised right then they should be able to handle a mom that isn't babying them 24-7) but again if I have kids that need me till they are in college then I do. What is the rush to have our kids grow up so fast? What is the rush for them to "do it for themselves?" I don't get it, we are all adults, we know how hard life can be and how long life can feel when you are grown, so why the hell would be shove our kids into that earlier than they need to be?!? (and I say "look forward too", like I would say I look forward to growing old with my Robert...it will be amazing but I am not rushing towards it...this time, this day, this chapter...it's amazing even in its hardness and monotony at times!)
Well yeh so I ranted a bit but I just wanna tell that dear sister of mine chin up sweetie, you are a stay at mom, you are blessed beyond words to be able to do what you are doing, you are valuable, you are more than "just" and if I hear you say it again...I will kick your ass! (and she knows who she is)
The reality is I have said the same thing...and my bestest screamed at me until I cried for doing so...just?!!? no there is no just about this; I AM A STAY AT HOME MOM! I hold my head high, I chose to be here, I belong here, I am blessed every day doing a job that I dare say few can do and still smile at bedtime every night! I do a job that is hard, ever changing, and comes with no guide book, there is no boss and there is no one watching me but as I scrub my floors, fold my laundry, wash my dishes, clean scraped knees, listen to hours of stories, watch my bebes do new things, and on and on...knowing full well I will do it on and on again...I smile and say; wow God thank you so much for these bebes, thank you so much for this once in a lifetime opportunity, make me strong God so I can make them strong....protect my heart from the ways of the world always trying to pull me away from my home so they can raise my bebes...hold me and my fellow sisters in this up because we are few and far between.
at the end of the day....I know there is no greater joy than the blessing of these children, and there is no one else better for the job of raising them than me and I feel honored, humbled and blessed to be doing it!
I am a stay at home mom!
So this blog is a longtime coming...I actually have a very nasty, angry version of it buried some were in my computer, which is now buried in my closet, thanx to our wi-fi only working on the laptop but I think that's probably best anyway since now I have had to time to actually think and come up with some thoughts that aren't "I wanna kick your ass you ignorant mother fluffer" =) oh well oops I said it anyway...ha ha
I am almost out of my 20's now and while I don't think I am any were near old, I am experienced. I have lived some life, seen and done some things and made some choices that have landed me right were I am and although I see some who may think I didn't choose to be here (or why would I chose to be here) I am happy and I am right were I want to be! Let me explain what prompted such a discovery.
I heard not to long ago and friend say something that I myself have been guilty of saying too so I point no fingers...when asked, "so do you work, what do you do?" she answered, "oh well no I don't work I am just a stay at home mom".
Just a stay at home mom?!? Those words rung in my ears and the ringing became so deafening I had to stop and say what?!? The way I see it is this; I have never heard a doctor, lawyer, banker, accountant, fast food worker, vet, or any other person ever say when asked what they do, "I am JUST a fill in the blank with job title" but I hear this over and over from myself and many other moms like me. Why?!?
Why do we feel the need to immediately qualify that we somehow know we are "just" something that isn't worth what you may do and get paid for...like my choice of jobs isn't a paid job so therefore it isn't a job?
Look around at the world these days; shootings, rapes, murders, kids have kids, drop outs, no respect among young people for older people, no morals, no values.....If you watch the news, get online or hell go sit in a mall and just watch for an hour, you will see the evil all around you, the ugliness of what our world is becoming too isn't hidden anymore, it's out there, it's in your face and it doesn't care if you're offended....
So I hear it now...ok Lacey are you rabbit trailing here or is there a point in there? This time surprise, surprise there is a point....
Were do we learn our morals, values, respect for authority? Were do we receive instructions for life when we are young? What and who do we base the majority of our worldviews?
Yep, you guessed it from our mom's (or obviously our parents but for the sake of this rambling...I am just saying moms...bite me, it's my blog lol)
MOMS, JUST US STAY AT HOME MOM'S! WE are shaping futures, we are forming minds, we are molding worldviews, and shaping hearts, we are making rules and giving punishments for broken rules...guess what America? Us "just moms" are forming the future leaders, we are the unsung quiet heroes that form the great leaders and workers for tomorrow! My country, who I love and stand behind a man who defends, is throwing away it's greatest asset!
We are telling our young moms and even pressuring some of our older mom's by telling them; work outside the home, get your 6 weeks maternity leave in and get back out there, get those babies in daycare, don't give up "you time", don't waste your life, don't forget to "do you"...and these messages are pounded in day after day and in fact have turned a whole generation into exactly that. Mom's who work and kids who grow up and are raised by daycare. I would say without wavering that having your kids for 2 hours before bed every night IS NOT parenting.
Ok and I know all of you and I hear some of your brains exploding and ready to curse me out right now so hear me out here; I am NOT talking to single moms, I am NOT talking to mom's that HAVE to work and that are shouldering financial responsibility to help keep their families heads above water in these hard economic times!
I am talking to moms who cant stay home because; "it's boring", or "I need a life too", or "I can't be stuck at home raising these kids all the time".
I am so sick of hearing those lines, they make me wanna puke!
It's boring?!? Then hunny you aren't doing it right because this is the most challenging, exciting, once in a lifetime opportunity there is! This is a limited time offer, when they are grown, IT'S GONE FOREVER!
"I need a life too" Then go out once a week with the girls, go get your hair done, nails done, get a beer with your husband once in awhile, blog, hire a babysitter once a week, get a hobby, study online...Find a life but I would stick my neck out a bit further and say; um kids are your life once you have them! ........which kinda runs into the last puke inducing line.....
"I can't be stuck at home raising these kids all the time" THEN give them up for adoption, or better yet wear a condom and don't have them! I can't be the only one that sees the selfishness of that statement! Why have kids if you don't plan on raising them? And how can it be ok for you to have "a life" "a career" while your kids grow up being shuffled from place to place being raised by other people?!?! I never will get it. How a mom can straight faced say that like her needs and comfort are worth more than then needs and comfort of her children (?!?!)
Recently a friend who I love dearly said to me, "Lacey I still need my time, this is my life and I raised my kids" (her oldest is 8) hmmm what?!? Yes sweetie this is YOUR life and YOU HAVE KIDS, welcome to your life! um duh?!?
I LOVE to learn, I love to work in fast paced environments, I want to be a nurse someday and I look forward to that possibility but the reality is that I had kids, who are wanted and loved but I admit were not planned: but that doesn't matter, because they are here so their needs and what it best for them, COMES FIRST!
I feel like renting bill boards and screaming: WAKE UP AMERICA, you are MISSING your children's childhoods and they are ONCE IN A LIFETIME!
I mean what if I had gone to law school or nursing school like I planned? What if I did have a successful career and lots of money right now? Would it mean anything at all in 90 years on my death bed? No, I don't think it would but let's say I do my job as a mom, raise my babies up right and get them to an age were they can discern based on their upbringing what is right and wrong and have a good solid base of years of a mom who gave it all for them and to them, on my death bed with them around me THAT would matter, THAT would be a LEGACY to leave behind. Lives that would go on even when I am gone and do great things and raise another generation after theirs to do the same!
Does this mean moms should never work?!? No way, I look forward to future chapters when my children are at an age were I can finish school and start working (this is different for everyone but I think 16 is a sufficient age and if they have been raised right then they should be able to handle a mom that isn't babying them 24-7) but again if I have kids that need me till they are in college then I do. What is the rush to have our kids grow up so fast? What is the rush for them to "do it for themselves?" I don't get it, we are all adults, we know how hard life can be and how long life can feel when you are grown, so why the hell would be shove our kids into that earlier than they need to be?!? (and I say "look forward too", like I would say I look forward to growing old with my Robert...it will be amazing but I am not rushing towards it...this time, this day, this chapter...it's amazing even in its hardness and monotony at times!)
Well yeh so I ranted a bit but I just wanna tell that dear sister of mine chin up sweetie, you are a stay at mom, you are blessed beyond words to be able to do what you are doing, you are valuable, you are more than "just" and if I hear you say it again...I will kick your ass! (and she knows who she is)
The reality is I have said the same thing...and my bestest screamed at me until I cried for doing so...just?!!? no there is no just about this; I AM A STAY AT HOME MOM! I hold my head high, I chose to be here, I belong here, I am blessed every day doing a job that I dare say few can do and still smile at bedtime every night! I do a job that is hard, ever changing, and comes with no guide book, there is no boss and there is no one watching me but as I scrub my floors, fold my laundry, wash my dishes, clean scraped knees, listen to hours of stories, watch my bebes do new things, and on and on...knowing full well I will do it on and on again...I smile and say; wow God thank you so much for these bebes, thank you so much for this once in a lifetime opportunity, make me strong God so I can make them strong....protect my heart from the ways of the world always trying to pull me away from my home so they can raise my bebes...hold me and my fellow sisters in this up because we are few and far between.
at the end of the day....I know there is no greater joy than the blessing of these children, and there is no one else better for the job of raising them than me and I feel honored, humbled and blessed to be doing it!
I am a stay at home mom!
It was about that time again
Ahhh yes since I departed from myspace for some reason I find myself not blogging as much, I love facebook but from some reason I dont find it beckons me to blog =) but I have that itch to do so....so here I am!
I figure a good place to start is the name of my blog and why I chose it. It may be obvious to some but I also find lots of people miss it...It's something that Rob actually started doing shortly after Emma was born and we made the decision that she would be our last baby. He said "well we are RLOE now and yeh I like it...it sounds good" RLOE of course stands for all of our first initials...in the order of age =) ha ha...I love pointing that out...Rob hates age...not me, I still feel the same as when I was 15 except maybe a bit fluffier and a bit stiffer lol
Ok well l am rambling...I have some "good" blogs coming up soon...but for now I say: HELLO blog world, I have missed you! =)
I figure a good place to start is the name of my blog and why I chose it. It may be obvious to some but I also find lots of people miss it...It's something that Rob actually started doing shortly after Emma was born and we made the decision that she would be our last baby. He said "well we are RLOE now and yeh I like it...it sounds good" RLOE of course stands for all of our first initials...in the order of age =) ha ha...I love pointing that out...Rob hates age...not me, I still feel the same as when I was 15 except maybe a bit fluffier and a bit stiffer lol
Ok well l am rambling...I have some "good" blogs coming up soon...but for now I say: HELLO blog world, I have missed you! =)
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