Just a mom?!?!

I do address this again further in this blog but I want to again state; this is NOT to single moms, this is NOT to moms that HAVE to work to help support their families, this is NOT to moms who's partners in parenting don't or can't find work...so PLEASE understand my HEART on this issue and know without a doubt that my respect for the parenting AND work you do is hundred fold...and I feel the need to name names: Jen and Ginger you two are amazing moms who work outside the home and also give 110% at home too, I adore you both and this is in NO way talking to you....love you both!


So this blog is a longtime coming...I actually have a very nasty, angry version of it buried some were in my computer, which is now buried in my closet, thanx to our wi-fi only working on the laptop but I think that's probably best anyway since now I have had to time to actually think and come up with some thoughts that aren't "I wanna kick your ass you ignorant mother fluffer" =) oh well oops I said it anyway...ha ha

I am almost out of my 20's now and while I don't think I am any were near old, I am experienced. I have lived some life, seen and done some things and made some choices that have landed me right were I am and although I see some who may think I didn't choose to be here (or why would I chose to be here) I am happy and I am right were I want to be! Let me explain what prompted such a discovery.

I heard not to long ago and friend say something that I myself have been guilty of saying too so I point no fingers...when asked, "so do you work, what do you do?" she answered, "oh well no I don't work I am just a stay at home mom".

Just a stay at home mom?!? Those words rung in my ears and the ringing became so deafening I had to stop and say what?!? The way I see it is this; I have never heard a doctor, lawyer, banker, accountant, fast food worker, vet, or any other person ever say when asked what they do, "I am JUST a fill in the blank with job title" but I hear this over and over from myself and many other moms like me. Why?!?

Why do we feel the need to immediately qualify that we somehow know we are "just" something that isn't worth what you may do and get paid for...like my choice of jobs isn't a paid job so therefore it isn't a job?

Look around at the world these days; shootings, rapes, murders, kids have kids, drop outs, no respect among young people for older people, no morals, no values.....If you watch the news, get online or hell go sit in a mall and just watch for an hour, you will see the evil all around you, the ugliness of what our world is becoming too isn't hidden anymore, it's out there, it's in your face and it doesn't care if you're offended....

So I hear it now...ok Lacey are you rabbit trailing here or is there a point in there? This time surprise, surprise there is a point....

Were do we learn our morals, values, respect for authority? Were do we receive instructions for life when we are young? What and who do we base the majority of our worldviews?

Yep, you guessed it from our mom's (or obviously our parents but for the sake of this rambling...I am just saying moms...bite me, it's my blog lol)

MOMS, JUST US STAY AT HOME MOM'S! WE are shaping futures, we are forming minds, we are molding worldviews, and shaping hearts, we are making rules and giving punishments for broken rules...guess what America? Us "just moms" are forming the future leaders, we are the unsung quiet heroes that form the great leaders and workers for tomorrow! My country, who I love and stand behind a man who defends, is throwing away it's greatest asset!

We are telling our young moms and even pressuring some of our older mom's by telling them; work outside the home, get your 6 weeks maternity leave in and get back out there, get those babies in daycare, don't give up "you time", don't waste your life, don't forget to "do you"...and these messages are pounded in day after day and in fact have turned a whole generation into exactly that. Mom's who work and kids who grow up and are raised by daycare. I would say without wavering that having your kids for 2 hours before bed every night IS NOT parenting.

Ok and I know all of you and I hear some of your brains exploding and ready to curse me out right now so hear me out here; I am NOT talking to single moms, I am NOT talking to mom's that HAVE to work and that are shouldering financial responsibility to help keep their families heads above water in these hard economic times!

I am talking to moms who cant stay home because; "it's boring", or "I need a life too", or "I can't be stuck at home raising these kids all the time".

I am so sick of hearing those lines, they make me wanna puke!

It's boring?!? Then hunny you aren't doing it right because this is the most challenging, exciting, once in a lifetime opportunity there is! This is a limited time offer, when they are grown, IT'S GONE FOREVER!

"I need a life too" Then go out once a week with the girls, go get your hair done, nails done, get a beer with your husband once in awhile, blog, hire a babysitter once a week, get a hobby, study online...Find a life but I would stick my neck out a bit further and say; um kids are your life once you have them! ........which kinda runs into the last puke inducing line.....

"I can't be stuck at home raising these kids all the time" THEN give them up for adoption, or better yet wear a condom and don't have them! I can't be the only one that sees the selfishness of that statement! Why have kids if you don't plan on raising them? And how can it be ok for you to have "a life" "a career" while your kids grow up being shuffled from place to place being raised by other people?!?! I never will get it. How a mom can straight faced say that like her needs and comfort are worth more than then needs and comfort of her children (?!?!)

Recently a friend who I love dearly said to me, "Lacey I still need my time, this is my life and I raised my kids" (her oldest is 8) hmmm what?!? Yes sweetie this is YOUR life and YOU HAVE KIDS, welcome to your life! um duh?!?

I LOVE to learn, I love to work in fast paced environments, I want to be a nurse someday and I look forward to that possibility but the reality is that I had kids, who are wanted and loved but I admit were not planned: but that doesn't matter, because they are here so their needs and what it best for them, COMES FIRST!

I feel like renting bill boards and screaming: WAKE UP AMERICA, you are MISSING your children's childhoods and they are ONCE IN A LIFETIME!

I mean what if I had gone to law school or nursing school like I planned? What if I did have a successful career and lots of money right now? Would it mean anything at all in 90 years on my death bed? No, I don't think it would but let's say I do my job as a mom, raise my babies up right and get them to an age were they can discern based on their upbringing what is right and wrong and have a good solid base of years of a mom who gave it all for them and to them, on my death bed with them around me THAT would matter, THAT would be a LEGACY to leave behind. Lives that would go on even when I am gone and do great things and raise another generation after theirs to do the same!

Does this mean moms should never work?!? No way, I look forward to future chapters when my children are at an age were I can finish school and start working (this is different for everyone but I think 16 is a sufficient age and if they have been raised right then they should be able to handle a mom that isn't babying them 24-7) but again if I have kids that need me till they are in college then I do. What is the rush to have our kids grow up so fast? What is the rush for them to "do it for themselves?" I don't get it, we are all adults, we know how hard life can be and how long life can feel when you are grown, so why the hell would be shove our kids into that earlier than they need to be?!? (and I say "look forward too", like I would say I look forward to growing old with my Robert...it will be amazing but I am not rushing towards it...this time, this day, this chapter...it's amazing even in its hardness and monotony at times!)

Well yeh so I ranted a bit but I just wanna tell that dear sister of mine chin up sweetie, you are a stay at mom, you are blessed beyond words to be able to do what you are doing, you are valuable, you are more than "just" and if I hear you say it again...I will kick your ass! (and she knows who she is)

The reality is I have said the same thing...and my bestest screamed at me until I cried for doing so...just?!!? no there is no just about this; I AM A STAY AT HOME MOM! I hold my head high, I chose to be here, I belong here, I am blessed every day doing a job that I dare say few can do and still smile at bedtime every night! I do a job that is hard, ever changing, and comes with no guide book, there is no boss and there is no one watching me but as I scrub my floors, fold my laundry, wash my dishes, clean scraped knees, listen to hours of stories, watch my bebes do new things, and on and on...knowing full well I will do it on and on again...I smile and say; wow God thank you so much for these bebes, thank you so much for this once in a lifetime opportunity, make me strong God so I can make them strong....protect my heart from the ways of the world always trying to pull me away from my home so they can raise my bebes...hold me and my fellow sisters in this up because we are few and far between.

at the end of the day....I know there is no greater joy than the blessing of these children, and there is no one else better for the job of raising them than me and I feel honored, humbled and blessed to be doing it!

I am a stay at home mom!