Lesson learned

Sometimes it's really hard to admit when you are wrong...it can be so hard too when it's a confusing issue, or maybe an issue you have divided feelings on. I'm there now. (ok I think we are all to some extend ALWAYS there but this time I cant make it go away because, well it's in my face every day...literally)

Ok so some feeling, thoughts, emotions we keep inside....we may admit them to our closest friends, we may admit them in a diary but some of them (and dont kid yourself we ALL have them) SOME of them we NEVER say, we NEVER write and I would go so far as to say, we probably lie to ourselves about them.

So you wanna know; what Lacey, what issue are you talking about? It's a big one...and I am timid to even put this out there...but I think if you bear with me to the end...I may be vindicated some.

It's the issue of race...I think EVERYONE; black, white, asian, mexican, purple, orange or green...we are ALL to some extent racist. Maybe this is human nature, maybe it's my murky view of a touchy subject that no one wants to talk about because it's not politically correct...but I mean to some extent I think it's normal right? I mean we all think we are the best....or maybe a better word than best would be to say; we all have pride in our race. Which I think is ok, I mean I am proud to be the race I am but I think when it crosses the line is when I think I am BETTER than another race...then well, that's ugly.

I mean really it's ugly because WE DONT CHOOSE to be who we are, we are BORN into the family, race, gender that we are...right? I mean we CHOOSE who we become as far as personality, religion, morals but no matter how much I dont want to be; I am a woman (and if you bring up sex change surgery....I will beat your ass....that changes what you are, but you are STILL what you were born to be....don't get me started!) I am white and I am short...all things I have NO CONTROL over...

So why the hell would I think I am better than any other race?

I mean I think it's easy to point the finger and say, well "they are all this way" or "they are all that way" when really I am being an ignorant fool who is lumping all these people into one catergory...

I had my whole view on this changed recently when a mom I am currently getting to know shared with me that people at our kids christmas program GOT UP and moved seats because she and her husband and adorable baby sat by them and they happen to be a different skin color than the racist, white pigs that were sitting there! It hurt me really deep to hear her tell me that story and to see the pain in her eyes...I mean she is truly the sweetest, most loving person I have met here...She would do anything for you, she is a sweet mother to her adorable 3 boys, she is someone I am getting close too and it never dawned on me that peoples close minded views just isn't something to be blogged about, it isn't something to be taken lightly...its a real issue...that AFFECTS her DAILY LIFE!

I mean how would I feel if someone just LOOKED at me and judged me. I mean I am overweight, how would it feel if everyone that saw me assumed I am a lazy slob because I am overweight? And the thing about this example is that it is flimsy at best because I am overweight because I WAS lazy and I DID let myself go...so in a way, it's my fault...unlike my sweet friend who has no choice in what color her skin is!

And just being around her and her family makes me see that COLOR is just that...it's COLOR...I mean when I tan do I become a different person? It just makes me see that maybe in the past I have judged based on something so stupid....maybe I deep down have been a racist, and maybe now I see that I was so wrong...because when I look at her sweet baby and when I talk to her...all I see is one of the cutest babies I have ever seen and a new friend who is so good to me and I am so thankful for her...that I dont even see our differences in skin color...but here someone else does see the difference and wouldn't even SIT by her...

How can we ever be a united country if we wont unite? I mean how amazingly stupid is it to think you are better than someone based on YOUR SKIN COLOR?!? I mean be proud of your race and heritage but find your WORTH in what you do...in what you EARN....in what you ACCOMPLISH...but your skin color...well you can't take credit for that....so why can't we just all be color blind? (super corny...but seriously so true!)

I'm so thankful for my new friend...I'm so thankful that I didn't see our differences, because now when I am with her all I see is how we are alike and how my life wouldn't be as good as it is without her in it. I mean I could have missed out on a great friend and really that would have been MY lose, because I wouldn't have a friend or a new outlook on something I thought I knew myself on...

I'm really glad I'm still growing, I'm really glad when I see something new again...and I hope I always am that way because some of my best lessons have come when I put my guard down and just open myself up to being wrong and to stand corrected!

My MP; Sgt Blanchard

Don't wanna leave the hubbers out...so here my big goofball is! For all the hard times there are alot of good times too and I think with hard work and prayer we're gonna make it to the end...well one of our ends that is! ha ha ha Just teasing! ;)

I love him, I am really lucky to have a guy that puts up with me and that really does try hard to make this marriage different from the "average" idea of what marriage should be.

We've been through so much in these past years...I really think we are getting it all together in a way now...having 2 kids so close, losing 4 jobs, starting a journey in the army, being apart for 14 months, and did I mention we moved I think 8 times in 6 years?!?

YEHHH we have been through alottt but here we are still trying...still trudging on...and it's good...I think it's like running a marathon; it's hard, it's painful, sometimes you wanna quit but in the end there is no greater feeling that knowing that you stuck with it and you made it to the end!

Love you Pig, you really are my greatest adventure!

A photo a day keeps the mundane away =)

My newest project; http://blanchardtimes.blogspot.com

Something totally random that I have wanted to do for awhile and thought hrmmm why not today?!? =)

At first I thought maybe it was just a random bit of nothingness to fill some of my spare time but the more I think on it, I think maybe it will encourage me to look at life and the things around me with new eyes...maybe I can learn to find beauty in things I normally wouldn't...we'll see ;) but there's the link if you care of join me for the next year!

toodles!

My bebes!

It occurred to me I haven't added the faces of my little bebe's yet so here they are...it amazes me how short a time they have been in my life and how crazy much I love them! They may try me beyond words but they also make my life something I never thought it would be and the happiness and love they bring to me is worth every second of their naughty times! They really do have infectious laughs and smiles that can melt even the hardest heart! I'm thankful for them...I try every day to be a mother worth the gift of them!

a teeny, tiny update

Well I haven't blogged in awhile but mostly it's because I have been in a horrid funk and also because I just haven't have much to say! blech...I hate grouchiness but lately I am living between a state of grouchiness and extreme mood swings so well that's not a good blogging condition lol =)

I know some of it is due to the winter weather and horrid lack of sunshine, which is my aliment every winter...I need, no really NEED my sunshine for my brain to function properly...

The other reason is well because I am missing my old life...I'm trying to find a new one here but I still long for the days of friendship and support I had at Campbell. It's hard to muster the desire to meet new friends when I honestly feel like I have already met the best people alive...I KNOW that is wrong and I am enjoying making some new friends finally but I'm being honest...and that's my honest thoughts!

Another huge reason is because I hate indecision and the unknown and lately that is all my future is; the husbands indecision (which I can not blame him for) and the unknown of which choice we are going to make. I say we but really I am letting Rob make this choice and while that is the RIGHT thing to do...it's also the HARD thing to do!

Normally in the army we aren't given choices, we are told were to go and what to do and we make the best of that. We all complain about it and say we wish we could decide things for ourselves but I am here to tell you this is actually harder! Rob working for the post command sgt major has given us advantages (and just to clarify by advantages I mean he meets people and gets to see how things work on another level than he did before...he still works his ass off for everything he has....just wanted to add that considering "advantages" could sound like he's being given unfair promotions, or advancement in ways other people dont get...that's NOT what I meant!) that we never would have normally and therefore we now have to choose what we want to do next....several options are open but I am not at liberty to put that in a blogging forum currently due to well opsec and my husband will yell...lol ;)

He is making his decision by the end of the week so a blog with the details will be coming soon!

Also and just randomly I have 2 great new pieces of news!
The first is;
MY HARDWORKING HUSBAND MADE SGT!!! SGT BLANCHARD....it sounds incredible and it's beyond sexy ;) I'm so proud of him!

and my dad just got a new job and the fam is moving back to Rockford, IL...I am THRILLED! I adore Rockford and can't wait to someday live there myself again! I had a blast the 9 months I lived there, which is saying alot because my husband wasn't even with me. It just has everything you could want, plus it's close to MI and IN for family and Chicago my favorite place! So yehh it's the best!

ok wrapping this up! I have lots to do for the new week ahead! I promise to blog more...I do miss it ;)

*loves and hugs*

I've only been back to the blogging world a short time and already had so much to say...so I thought sheepishly I should have done this blog first considering it's the most important one of all...and before you think my head is too big, I say quickly, it's the most important because it's not my words but the words of the almighty God, who never makes mistakes, never fails and always gives us the best advice in any situation! Amazing huh?!?

These are my 2 favorite bible passages and why I have grown to love them so:

"For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:22

Seems so simple yet when you sit and dwell on it, it really will and can change your life! I am so weak and forgetful of this truth, that even in the hardships, even when all around me seems hopeless and empty; he has plans to prosper me and not to harm me, and that should give me HOPE knowing he has MY future in his almighty and loving hands! INCREDIBLE! It moves me to tears just thinking of it! MY future, he knows me by name and has plans for MY life! I love it! I am humbled by it and I am so thankful for it! What's more amazing is that he has your life and plans for you too dear ones, he holds you in the palm of his loving hand and wants you to have hope in him! Believe in him today, grab ahold of his out stretched hand while the day to do so is here! I love you! I want you there standing beside me in his presence!

I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13

I grew up with this verse, I have memorized so many chapters and verses in the Bible because in my family that was required but the gravity of this verse didn't hit me until this move here to MO, during a particulary trying day, when I thought; "I can't do this, my body hurts, I am soaking wet, my husband is stuck on post, there is a tornado 2 miles from here, I can't do this" in that moment this verse jumped into my mind...and I remember thinking "yeh yeh yeh right ok sure I got it" but it wouldnt' go away so I said it out loud and for the first time in my life; I HEARD IT!

It doesn't say "some things", it doesn't say "most things" it says;" ALL THINGS" In that moment I called out "all things lord, you said all things!" I pleaded with him thru my tears and pain to show me that all things could be done by calling for his strength in me! I'm sure you can guess since this is a favorite verse that I felt his promises to me, I did it, I got it done and I can't even take any credit for it, it was ALL of him, it was him coming to me and giving me his strength and promise!

How many times have a missed the promises and blessings of the Lord simply because I don't ask him for them or I don't claim them in his name?

He is God who loves his people like a father loves his children, he wants us to come to him, he wants to bless us! If only we would daily remember to come and plead for his blessings and help in our lives!

It is what it is!

I can only be me. Simple statement right? Meaning seems clear at first glance, seems like an; "ok duh Lacey statement" but is it?

What I mean is that I can only be who I am at this moment! I can look back and see the Lacey of 15 is different from the Lacey of 18, and the Lacey of 18 is FAR different from the Lacey of 21...maybe not in all ways, I mean I still am passionate about protecting the rights of the unborn (that started at age 6) I am still loud and silly (that started at birth I believe), I am still a passoiante defender of my family and friends (that started at about 4 I am told)....there are some things like those examples, that haven't changed a bit, they just mature with me and in most cases if I was passionate about something then, I am more now!

I am almost 30 now and I have changed alot in this past year; I was given the best friends and re-united with some old good friends, I have developed family relationships in a deeper more meaningful I NEED these people ways. I was on my own for 14 months while my husband risked his life for this country and I had to learn that God is the ONLY one in control of all things! I have found that my value and worth in this life isn't based on what the world thinks, it's based on what God thinks of me and that I need to look up more when I don't know what to do!

I am writing all this to say that I have heard thru the grapevine that my "just a mom" piece hurt some feelings. I would like to apologize but I'm not fake and I don't lie so I can't. I can't say that no, I wasn't judging because I was judging in some ways!

I am passionate about the collapse of a way of life, I am passionate about being a mom and defending other moms in the work we do! And as far as judging goes, WE ALL DO IT! Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but if you are mad at me for that piece and you are talking about it to others (which you are or how would I know?!?) then you are judging me. The difference is I am ok with that. Maybe by telling other people you will eventually reach someone who agrees with me but is too afraid to speak thinking she is alone!

I am me, I am a mother and a proud supporter of an "old fashioned" way of life... I say old fashioned with a smile because this country used to be a proud, noble country that others looked up too but in the past years we have become a demoralized, shameful country who others are passing rapidly! It scares me but it doesn't surprise me, when you take out a foundational support block (a mom) you make the whole structure more weak!

I am happy I have a husband who supports me, I am happy that we are a team each doing an important job in raising these children, and let there be no confusion there are days when I do run screaming from the house and he takes over so I can have a break!

I want to state for the record I understand that sometimes life REQUIRES moms to step out and work, sometimes life REQUIRES more money that one partner can make, even after making cuts of unnecessary items. I APPLAUD women who stand in this gap and do what's necessary to make their families run. Please hear me on this! I thought I made that clear in that piece but maybe I didn't so I will do it again!

But I am who I am, this is my blog were I lay my heart, my feelings, my insights on the line, read it or don't...but have the courage to speak to me instead of about me! I love my friends even though ones who I might not agree with, and I think if you don't know that about me, then you don't know me!